Back when I was writing about busking in the Toronto subways, I wrote a post called "Mind the Gap". It was about coming to terms with the difference between how I hoped to sound in my recordings and how I actually do...the difference between fantasy and reality.
Several years later, I'm still dancing with that gap. Just when I think I've achieved some new level of skill, something happens to remind me that I'm still learning and growing. That sounds like a good thing of course (we all want to learn and grow, don't we?) but in the moment it can be terribly uncomfortable. Self-acceptance is pleasant and natural when everything is going well, but when we fall short of our goals, it's not so easy.
A few days ago, I led a songwriting workshop with a group of high school students. I quoted Miles Davis who famously said "do not fear mistakes, there are none". And then, a few days later, when I made what I felt was a mistake as part of a creative project, I got completely stuck. I couldn't stop wishing things had gone differently, instead of focusing on right now and how to move forward gracefully.
Would the experience have gone differently if I had approached it with a spirit of playful experimentation instead of goal-directed perfectionism? Can I re-frame my attitude right now, viewing the results as unexpected new ideas rather than mistakes? Will a gentle acceptance of the ever-present "gap" help me pick up and move on? Often it seems that so much rests on our ability to get it exactly "right". Maybe those goals are less important than they seem.
The real prize is the growth we achieve when we stretch, simply as far as we can.
