The Amp On My Back

Early in the subway year, I was told by a passing stranger that my guitar couldn't be heard.

So I went out and bought a small battery-powered amp, which weighs about fifteen pounds. It fits neatly into a backpack, which I carry with me, along with my guitar in its hardshell case.

At one point, I tried to load everything onto a nifty little pull-cart, but I couldn't get the hang of it, so I went back to shouldering the load myself.

Lately, as I've been moving from station to station looking for a place to sing, it's occurred to me that the amp on my back is making the journey more difficult.

I use the amp because I want to be heard. I want more people to hear me. I want my songs to carry. The amp magnifies and enhances my sound. I feel it makes me sound more "professional".

The amp works as it's supposed to. Now I can be heard from a greater distance. You don't have to be right up close to appreciate my songs.

At the same time, this amp on my back slows me down. It's a burden, but one I'm happy to take on as I try to launch my songs into the world, to make them go further and faster.

Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking. Whatever is she carrying in that big pack? And while she's already got a guitar!

Well, I'll tell you what's in that pack. Expensive CDs, a few press releases, nice-looking business cards, side musicians that get paid, song contest entries, photographs, bios...a whole bunch of little amps.

Meanwhile, yeah, I'm carrying the guitar no matter what.

I'll be carrying it for the rest of my life. And it will be carrying me.

I wonder how long I'll be hauling that amp.