Creative Abandon

I've been reading a lot of Pema Chodron lately, a spiritual teacher in the Buddhist Lojong tradition. She recommends using a number of simple slogans during everyday activities, to stay rooted in the present moment. Over the next couple of weeks, for an e-course I'm taking, I'll be working with the slogan "abandon all hope of fruition".

It's a useful slogan for anyone striving in the difficult career path of the arts.

Just yesterday, I found myself "hoping for fruition" as I sent a song to an influential music promoter. Although I told myself that I wasn't expecting a response, I was disappointed when I didn't receive a return email immediately. (Another Lojong slogan that is closely related is "Don't expect applause".)

Unconsciously, I also hope for fruition when I send an email out to my list of supporters and when I write a blog entry. What will people think, I wonder? Will they come out to the show? Will they think more highly of me? I often hold some expectation of result in my mind while I'm creating something new.

When I'm actually writing a song, the hope of fruition can be a real roadblock to success.

Thinking ahead, while writing, to the response of potential audiences diverts my attention from the song. If I think "ahah, this is going to be a masterpiece", I'm disappointed in myself and creatively blocked when, a few minutes later, it seems not to be fulfilling its potential. And if I think "oh no, this won't work for such-and-such audience or industry person" I start to fiddle with the song, worrying it into a mutant version of what it was originally meant to be.

In order to write something true, I have to honour my subject with my full attention.

When I simply let the song carry itself forward without all that weight on it, it generally comes out fine.

"Abandoning all hope of fruition" turns into "creative abandon", which is freeing and joyful.