This is My House

So, what happens when you create something, and somebody hates it?

It’s hard enough when a potential member of the audience says "it’s not my style" or "it doesn’t do anything for me", when an editor takes a pass on it or you spot your CD in a bin at a garage sale.

All of these little rejections are disappointing to artists. And they’re inevitable. Getting used to rejection is part of the process. The only way to avoid rejection is to, essentially, fail as a communicator—that is, to say nothing that will affect anyone one way or another, to be as bland as possible so as to offend no one. This approach may help one avoid stinging criticism—but it will also guarantee that nobody will care enough to become a passionate supporter of your work.

By committing to an artistic statement or a creative path—in a song, a painting or a personal essay—the creative person is (sometimes unwittingly) defining their circle.

Recently in these pages, a person who chose to remain anonymous gave me an opportunity to consider how to respond not only to legitimate, constructive criticism, but to an unprovoked personal attack on my life and career. From the very first post, which I deleted, the tone was invalidating and shaming. It escalated quickly to become what I consider hate mail—attacking my writing, my music career and even my family life. As a result, I’ve turned off the "comments" feature. This is my house. Bullies are not welcome here.

When I think of my mentors—writers as well as songwriters—I admire them for taking the risk of revealing themselves and taking responsibility for what they say. As I’ve said many times in these pages, expressing myself in public--in songs and in any other form--was something that I was afraid to do for many years. When I stepped outside my comfort zone, to increase the potential for rejection and acceptance on virtually every level, I discovered a voice I didn’t know I had.

Sure, it won’t be to everyone’s taste. Of course, it’s a work-in-progress. But how fortunate we are to live in a society that invites so many forms of expression and that protects free speech.

My heartfelt thanks to all of you who have offered your support, both on and off-line.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program.