Saturday, September 10, 2011

"Liking" vs Loving

Recently I heard a friend express dismay that he hadn't attracted enough "likes" for his band on Facebook.  He felt that he wasn't making enough progress with his music, despite the fact that he'd been working hard.  He sounded angry.

I have to confess, I hadn't "liked" the band myself, even though I do genuinely like him as a person.  I notice that that phrase "like him as a person" sounds like romantic rejection--which offers a clue as to what's going on here. "She's just not that into your song" closely resembles "she's just not that into you". They both hurt. 

But which matters more?  Hundreds of "likes"--which may be superficial or (worse) insincere--or a few genuine "loves"?

In life, we actually only need a few people who genuinely love, understand and support us.  Chances are those few people will love, understand and support our creative lives too. 

Sure, there will be variations along the way.  Nobody can connect with every song.  And listeners will be influenced by the musician's skill (which can change)--and by the listener's beliefs about artistic expression, financial security and their own creative work. 
 
And yet, there's often a correlation between the people who truly "get" us and the people who "get" our songs. When love is present, a deeper support for the whole person (including his or her songs) is felt and expressed.  It's not a question of being "liked" but about being loved--and about loving. 

When we love others, we offer our songs to them--but more importantly, we offer our whole, authentic selves.  When we are at our best, we offer our whole and authentic selves through our songs and through everything else we do. 

As we give of our wholeness, we may find that popularity becomes less important to us, but that serving an actual community (of any size) becomes more crucial.  The more we love, the more superficial "likes" seem irrelevant.  

We may find, then, that our songs deepen and mature...to the benefit of all.   

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