Seeking Space

I was thinking of going out to sing at Pape Station this morning, but I'm feeling too tired, and plus it's a chilly +2 degrees outside.

My week has been jammed with responsibilities: freelance work, songwriting workshops, recording, rehearsing and family activities.

I have that "stop the world, I want to get off" feeling, which isn't unusual (and probably isn't unusual at all for others at this stage of life).

Last night, an acquaintance emailed me to request that she be taken off my email list--something I invite people to do when necessary--saying that she's stretched too thin to get out to anything much these days.

I understand. I took her off the list. And I felt a little sad about it, too, while reminding myself not to take it personally.

There's only so much space in a life. There are only so many artists you can actively follow...only so many groceries you need to buy at the market. Our hunger for new songs (and books and films) is already satisfied in large part by the commercial entertainment industry.

Like other songwriters, I hope that my songs can make a difference in the world, but realistically, I know that they're only going to be heard by a limited number of people. Of those, a smaller sub-set will find them truly useful: inspiring, empowering, entertaining or reassuring. I myself am one of those people, of course, and I tell my songwriting students that even if their songs are useful just to them, the songs are valuable and necessary.

And yet, we strive for connection.

As I write this, I realize that staying in the house today, cluttered as it is, with my long to-do list and the constant chatter in my mind, may not be the way to find the space I'm seeking.

So I'm off to Pape Station.