Leaving So Soon?

This week, I've received lots of support for my thought of getting a degree in education and becoming a teacher.

My producer and his wife were very encouraging, telling me about several other musicians I respect who are also teachers. My parents and my friends think it's a good idea. My daughter's teacher is happy to have me volunteer a few hours a week to gain experience.

I've been feeling increasingly confident about this possible path: a well-paved road which would provide a liveable income, stability, benefits and an eventual pension. Although it would be demanding work, it would provide one job, and would not require me to continually re-generate new work as a performer or freelance writer.

I'd been feeling good about this new road.

Then I had a particularly good morning in the subway.

This morning at Pape Station, I felt buoyant and generous. I didn't have to remind myself to smile...I couldn't help myself.

Last night, for fun, I learned a Beatles song ("In My Life"). Today, for the first time, a man walked up to me and asked if I knew any Beatles. After I played the song, he sang for me for ten minutes, because he's a Byzantine chanter. He then taught me how the Byzantine scale works, all while we stood there with hundreds of people passing by.

A TTC bus driver stopped and listened to three songs and made a large donation. A woman in the cast of "Mamma Mia" stopped and bought a CD.

I found myself singing easily, with no fatigue in my voice. In fact, as I continued to sing I could hear my voice carrying further, becoming lighter and more playful. I tried new things today with my voice and my guitar, improvising new fills and turnarounds on old songs I'd been playing for years.

It all worked.

The donations kept flowing: from children and adults, people of all nationalities, young and old, "rich" and "poor". People put down armfuls of grocery bags to donate...turned halfway down the stairs and came back up to toss a few coins into my guitar case. (Later, when I counted up my change, I discovered that I had earned more than double what I usually hope for. I came home with almost $90.)

When I left after two and a half hours, wondering whether the man at the Gateway Newstand might be bored with me, instead he asked "Are you leaving so soon?".

Are you leaving so soon.

As I headed back home I thought: if I were a full-time teacher, I couldn't do this.

Would I be making a bigger contribution?

Would I receive a greater reward?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

When I sat down for my now-habitual custard tart and tea at the Portuguese bakery around the corner from my daughter's Saturday drama class, I sat behind a man working on a laptop computer. When he got up to order something at the counter, he left his screen in full view in front of me.

In bold headings, I read an excerpt from what appeared to be a motivational manuscript.

One of the headings read: "Play Full Out".

Just then, Loreena McKennitt (an internationally successful artist who is known for having started out as a busker at Toronto's St. Lawrence Market) started to play over the restaurant loudspeakers.